Moving house with a toddler – it’s not good for your mental health

If you thought your toddler had been through clingy stages before, the moving house disruption takes the cling-on factor to a whole new level of crazy.

Toddlers can unpack a whole lot faster than you can pack.

Toddlers become irrationally attached to random objects as soon as they see you prepare to take them away somewhere.

Somehow those ‘last few things’ that need to be done/cleaned/packed will end up taking several hours of time you don’t have to spend on them (mostly due to the heavy toddler attached to your leg).

It doesn’t matter how sunny it was this morning, as soon as you try to load or unload your belongings, the rain will come.

Ever wonder how extensive your toddler’s cursing vocabulary is? Let them comment when you all discover that your bedding is soaked because it was left in an open car boot during the last torrential rain shower. It’s enlightening. And not in a good way.

If it’s possible to assemble something incorrectly, the presence of a whinging toddler will guarantee that you do. It’s like they find the magic frequency that disrupts all higher brain function.

The logic of having to use a changeable postal address for all official documents when most email addresses are (or can be) yours for life, is highly flawed.

The amount of junk that you find left behind in your new house is always an order of magnitude higher than the junk that you conscientiously removed from the old house.

It’s a really really bad idea for your husband to start a new job around the same time as you move house. It’s an absolutely terrible idea for him to start a new job twice in the same month as you move.

People who put panic buttons for an alarm system within easy reach of toddler hands should be shot (make sure you know the new house alarm code).